Shit tests, as I would like to define them, are qualifiers for men, put up by women who are hot enough to afford putting up a a selection criteria for men whom they want to end up with. Contrary to the popular belief, if you’re being shit-tested by a woman, that’s a good thing. It’s an indicator that she actually considers you as a man worthy of her attention. The problem is however surviving it.

Women put up shit tests for various reasons, To see whether the guy can be manipulated, insecure, needy, or even to see if he’s any good in bed. A good number of these shit tests are subliminal – as in, chicks do these without their conscious mind’s presence. Yeap, as far as evolutionary biology goes, they are genetically programmed to do so. And chicks DO need shit tests to survive!

Imagine a chick who’s a 9 or a 10 being hit by a new guy every 2 minutes in a club? Now, she NEEDS to have some tricks up her sleeve to rule out a good number of them. So, today we will go through 4 classic shit tests that will hopefully cover all areas of the shit-test-spectrum and will give you an idea as how to respond to them.

Shit test #1: Classic eye contact

Real Life Scenario:
You are at a public gathering. At some point you lift your head and scan the room. And you see this hot chick checking you out. You feel nervous/anxious, your defense walls go up, and you look away. Shit test failed!

The background:
This is probably the most common shit test and more or less a subliminal one. When was the last time you saw a ‘nervous-around-women’ AFC (Average frustrated chump) getting laid with a 9 or a 10? That’s right. It’s the subconscious “How confident are you?” test. If you can’t handle the initial eye-contact with a woman, chances are that you’re going to go into somewhat of an epileptic seizure if she comes up to talk to you.

How to score an A+:
Demonstrate confidence – not anxiety. Just don’t look away. Smile, raise you glass, nod your head – and be natural about it. It’s NOT easier said than done.

Shit test #2: Can I manipulate you?

Real Life Scenario:
After something you just said, she goes *playfully punching* “You’re a real jerk, aren’t you?”. So… should you like, apologize?

The background:
One, NEVER apologize for playing it cocky and playful. Two, this is a classic shit test – so treat it as one. Whatever you told her before to make her say that, worked well enough make her feel a tad bit vulnerable. And that’s good why? Because, you should be the person with the upper-hand here. You should control how the conversation progresses – not her. You should control the frame and the scope of your interaction.

How to score an A+:
You can ignore it purposefully by starting up another story pretending you don’t care about what she just said. Or, derived from Brad P’s game, you can just say, “Well, I bet you fucking love it”. One thing to note however is that, disacknowledgment works well for a lot of shit tests.

Shit test #3: Are you too needy?

Real Life Scenario:
So you hit it off good with this chick you just met. She goes “Hey, buy me a drink!”. And you go, “Sure! What do you want?”. Guess what? Shit test failed.

The background:
Despite of the fact that you want to demonstrate to her that you can provide for her, buying the drink for her is really a bad idea. If you want to demonstrate that you have a higher value, do it by being not as needy as to buy every woman a drink 5 minutes into the conversation. You want to demonstrate that you got money? Fine! Wear a Rolex. Women who get hit-on constantly may throw in this one to rule out the needy ones effectively.

How to score an A+:
Refuse at point blank. If your game is good, here’s my personal cocky/funny comeback to turn the tables – (Playfully) “Go get your own drink! In fact, I’m the hotter one here – you should be buying ME a drink.”

Shit test #4: Are you too nice?

Real Life Scenario:
You’re at this party, and you meet this chick whom you end up talking to 10 minutes later, you’ve built up a good rapport, and you just finished your story. And she says “Hey, can you hold my drink for a sec? Me and girls are gonna hit the dance floor”. Of course, you’re the nice guy, so you comply right? Weak dude!

The background:
Women don’t want men they can control. Especially, emotionally stable women. This is sorta the “Are you too nice to end up with me on bed tonight?” test. Women are evolutionary designed to be submissive to the authority of men and their genetic circuitry prevents them from being attracted to the submissive men who wouldn’t mind holding their drinks while they go have fun.

How to score an A+:
Think before you comply. Like I said, nothing is sadder than the guy holding a drink for the woman whom he met 10 minutes ago while she’s on the dance floor having fun. Improvise according to the situation, and say NO. You’re better than that.

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