Giving a person advice on relationships and social dynamics is quite the delicate task. And something I have found out over time is that one person of the opposite sex can never really give a person of the other sex proper dating advice. It never seems to work. Today we take a look at some of the most exasperatingly erroneous pieces of relationship advice men get from women. 

Women want a nice sweet guy

Heard this? Believed it? Embraced this piece of age old wisdom with no second thought? Take a small moment to bitch slap yourself really hard. Twice if you heartily agreed with this piece of advice. While the sheer lunacy of being too nice has been proven time and time again; more often that not by your buddy Joe, who you think is a total jerk to women, but gets laid like a freaking rock-star; the majority of men still insist on turning a blind eye to reality and plough on with being the nice, sweet, adorable guy, hoping that someday the girl they’re after will take time off from pursuing the “jerks” to notice them and magically fall in love. But remember, this is not to say that you should be a jerk to women, quite the contrary. Balance is the key and it is perfectly possible to be a good guy while not being ‘the nice guy.’ And yes there’s a huge difference! Remember, women (women of high quality that is) crave men that are a challenge, men who exude that incredibly attractive charisma of confidence mixed with a hint of danger; the ever elusive ‘bad boys’. These women do not want a man whose sickly sweet to them at all times, tries to earn their favor by buying them gifts, jewelry and what not and can be manipulated with the smallest of whines. Well not for any sort of romantic interests anyway.

Be yourself, it’s the only way to go

This is probably THE most cliché and redundant piece of dating advice that women have dolled out to those lovable losers that gobble down every bit of bad dating advice out of sheer desperation. And as for all of those who you who are shaking your heads at the moment and saying: “Yes! You should be yourself!” I ask you, if you are fat, socially awkward and your mum dresses you funny, should you still “be yourself”? Touché no? The beauty of life is in the fact that each and every one of us has the ability to change ourselves for the better. After all, life is not about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself. So remember, you are not what you are at the moment. You are what you chose to do with yourself. So if you’ve so far had close to no luck with women, if you find yourself being the ‘wallflower’ guy at social gatherings and you find yourself ever so often stuck in the “lets just be friends” zone; do yourself a favor and take control of your destiny. Join a gym, get advice on your fashion sense, and learn some social skills. It’s your life, stand up and live it!

Open a woman by conveying interest

Most guys have absolutely no idea what it is like being a woman of exceptional beauty, and that is fair enough. So let me elucidate. Imagine from the time you turn 17 or so, getting hit on by a barrage of men who seem to notice nothing else but how hot you are. Imagine being offered free drinks and more simply for the fact that you are beautiful. It turns dreary and annoying. So every time a guy tries to initiate a conversation with you with “Hey you’re really pretty, can I buy you a drink?” you have no qualms about politely shooting him down or down-right burning him. After all why should a woman of exceptional beauty even bother getting to know a guy who conveys way too much interest in her without even knowing who she is as a person? So if your standard pick up line is “Hey you’re so pretty, can I buy you a drink?” or “Hey my name is whatever”, do yourself a favor and set yourself apart from the rest of the throng. Open her indirectly, without conveying your interest in her. Show her that you are a man of high value and not overly interested or intimidated by her beauty. Let her work for your interest, through her personality and charm, and let her see you being slowly won over. Makes for a much smoother and rewarding courtship.

She’s not right for you, or she’s just being a bitch

Ever been through one of those moments where you got shot down bad by a beautiful girl by showing too much interest in her or by being too needy or by displaying any one of the other loveable loser traits; and one of your female friends was always ready with the “Oh she’s just a bitch” or “Oh she’s not right for you anyway” consolation? No dude, get over it. She’s not a bitch. She was just a bitch to you! So do yourself a favor and face reality, recognize that the reason that a woman rejected your romantic attempts was not because she was a bitch or not because she’s not really right for you. Nor is it the fact that you as a person are inferior. It’s because you didn’t have the proper social skill set to win her over.

For those of you who read this and were willing to face the harsh truth that you yourself have made these mistakes in the past, much respect! Admitting that you are no social butterfly is not easy. But admitting that is the first step on a journey of self improvement that will lead you through a dark and winding road to Eden.

If you find this column useful, do remember to subscribe to The Backdoor, for next week we will go through the biggest mistakes men make when approaching a woman. Yes my little Casanovas the journey has begun.