He recorded the confessions of the world’s most notorious rock band – Mötley Crüe, took ‘The Long Hard Road out of Hell’ with the anarchist superstar Marilyn Manson, and penetrated the secret society of pickup artists. Today, The Backdoor gives you the master pick-up artist, rock star ink-slinger, and the New York Times bestselling author – Neil Strauss. His audacious feats to gouge the story veiled behind the thick blinds of superstardom and present it forthright, have captured the hearts of millions through the years. Calling it an honor to have the fortune of interviewing this masterful author, biographer, journalist cum ghostwriter would be an understatement – yet, it’s the best we can do.

A contributing editor at the Rolling Stone with 8 books authored and published throughout the past 11 years, including one NY Times bestseller “The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists”, Neil Strauss himself, takes a minute off to present us with some insightful and exclusive views on everything from picking up women, nurturing a successful relationship and building a life.

What is a “pickup artist” and what sets him apart from the average man?

Neil – I don’t think defining oneself as a pickup artist is necessarily a good thing. The number one rule to meeting women is to have something better to do than meet women. To me, guys in the underground seduction community who call themselves pickup artists are saying that they understand the social rules and conventions that exist amongst human beings, and they know how to work with them to create attraction. And once you have attraction, that can turn into a friendship, sex, a relationship, marriage, or anything else.

What can guys get out of the book ‘The Game?’

Neil – I’d encourage guys not to read it. I wrote it in because for most of my life, I was the kind of guy who rarely went on dates or had a girlfriend. I just sat on the sidelines and watched while other men had all the fun, and I couldn’t figure out then what they had that I didn’t. When I met the so-called greatest pickup artists in the world, and was taken under their wings, I finally was able to live the fantasies I’d always had back then. One of the reasons I wrote the book was to level the playing field. So I’d encourage anyone who’s already successful with women not to read the book, so that it can stay level.

What do you think the future of seduction would be like, since it has now evolved into an advanced science with training programs dedicated to it?

Neil – I think there are two paths it can take. One is that it just becomes a blip on the pop-culture radar, remembered as a funny period where guys wore furry hats to meet girls. The other is that it can grow into a widespread men’s self-improvement movement. Hopefully, it’s the latter.

There are a lot of men who think that learning a method to seduce women takes them away from being themselves, or feel that it’s lame. What do you have to say to them?

Neil – Most often, this statement is used as an excuse not to improve. What most of us present to the world isn’t necessarily our true self:  It includes years of bad habits and fear-based behavior. Our real self lies buried underneath all the insecurities and inhibitions. So rather than just being yourself, it’s far better to focus on discovering and permanently bringing to the surface your best self.

What are the two biggest mistakes men make when they try to pick up women / close the deal?

Neil – The biggest mistake men make is they hit on a woman before she’s attracted to them. The second biggest mistake is asking ask a bunch of logical, factual questions right away, and boring her to tears, rather than leading with a conversation that captures her curiosity, interest, and attention.

The secrets to approaching and attracting women?

1. Don’t wait to approach her until she’s alone. Even if she likes you, her friends will soon drag her away. However if you approach her and she’s with friends, make sure you don’t ignore them. Pay attention to everyone in the group. If you win over her friends, you’ll win her.

2. Don’t stare at her for more than three seconds before approaching. If you wait too long, two things may happen: she will catch you staring at her and think you’re a creep; or you’ll start to get nervous and blow it. This is called the three-second rule, and it was coined by a pickup artist I met known as Mystery.

3. Don’t be afraid to approach her just because there are men in the group. Often, you’ll discover that she’s with family, friends, or co-workers and, unlike the all-female groups in the room, she hasn’t been approached by any interesting men.

4. Give yourself a time constraint. As soon as you approach a group, the first thing they think is: “How long is this guy going to stay here?” So put their fears to rest by saying that you can only stay a minute, and then they’ll be more likely to hear what you have to say.

5. Everyone loves to hear about themselves. So the secret to staying in the group after telling them you are going to leave is to demonstrate value. One way to do this is to teach them something about themselves, whether it be through intelligent observations, handwriting analysis, or comments on their body language.

What is the Dark side of learning The Game?

Neil – Guys can become social robots, dependent on other people’s validation.  And, ultimately, instead of becoming their best selves, they can turn into someone else.

What advice can you give men on nurturing a successful romantic relationship?

Neil – I’ll share the advice one of the guys in the book gave me: the three most important things in a relationship are “honesty, trust, and respect.” If one of those is missing, you don’t have love. It’s just either obsession or co-dependence.

There were rumors of you developing a system for women to seduce men. Could you tell us a bit about it?

Neil – I could. But I shouldn’t.

Your new book Emergency has been such a hit and it’s quite a change from The Game. Can you tell us a bit about it?

Neil – It happened over the last eight years, watching as everything that we thought could never happen in America suddenly started happening. So I decided to take control over my own life, rather than being dependent on an increasingly undependable system, and worked toward becoming as self-sufficient, independent, skilled, and experienced as I could. That journey continues today.

What’s next for Neil Strauss?

Neil – Finding balance in life. It’s much more difficult than it sounds, at least for me. But I think it’s the secret to being happy.

You can learn more about six-time New York Times Best-Selling Author Neil Strauss’s (a.k.a. “St. Slim Jim”, a.k.a. “Style”, voted the number-one pickup artist in the world!)  by visiting  neilstrauss.com. If you have an open enough mind to handle it that is.