A true dialog that transpired at home recently:

Curious Friend: ‘Say, how is it that Rockers have such good luck with women?’

Lady Acquaintance: ‘Well, it’s the charm and that extra bit of mystery…’

Dubious Friend: ‘So what you’re saying is that others lack that kind of charm and mystery?’

LA: ‘There’s something that sets them apart really from the rest.’

CF: ‘So that’s what I want to know. What that thing is.’

DF: ‘What do YOU think it is?’

Everyone turns to face me, who is humbly seated on a chair; adorning my legendary pair of red shorts (more famous than St.George’s lance), I can’t remember what color the t-shirt was for the life of me, although I was playing the acoustic axe overhearing the entire conversation.

I raise an eyebrow and look everyone in the eye and then ask Lady Acquaintance: ‘I reckon you’ve been with guys from different professional & educational backgrounds, lifestyles, subcultures and people from different genres of music right?’

I take the flush in the cheeks and the silence as a yes.

I continue: ‘And I bet you anything that not one of them have and could pleasure you the way a Rocker has satisfied you?’

The question was simple, direct and hardly needed to rely on euphemisms and insinuations. The guys start to choke in laughter but LA keeps a straight face as best as she can till her entire face is swelled cherry red.

‘It’s true’ LA says finally and everyone else in the hall stares with expressions that ought to have been wrought in stone or marble.

DF: ‘What’s true?’

CF: ‘That no one can pleasure a woman like a Rocker can.’

DF: ‘What?!?’

LA: ‘It’s true gentleman. Once a Rocker gets into you and fucks you proper no one else can ever come close.’

Hello Girls… and Gents.

Just so we are on the same page. We ran through an introduction to foreplay and how essential foreplay is to spice, warm up and boost your sexual lives. So here’s a small reminder.

Foreplay may very well best be described as the prolonged stimulation of ones body and psyche at the hands of another. It is an act, or a series of acts either planned or spontaneously carried out to provoke, evoke and accentuate the pleasures of the flesh by toying with ones senses.

The formula is pretty simple really. Good Sex + Foreplay = Great Sex.

Bells all tolling and ringing then?

Ah. Good.

Foreplay is not about calculatedly covering all the bases, it is not about tweaking each other till the grand slam and it shouldn’t be something that’s done without passion.

We must be passionate when we make love; when we slither and coil within a woman’s sacred alters and rear chambers. Every touch, every scent, every word, every sound must mean something to you. Passionless sex is like jumping into an empty swimming pool.

So remember that Foreplay in itself is a valuable tool – if you ask me it’s as or more important than the main course really, because:

• Women need to be stimulated on a number of different levels before they open up like a flower.

• Foreplay constitutes 60-65% of how the main course will actually turn out.

• Most people’s lives consist of predictability, norms and play by the numbers decisiveness, and Foreplay will bring in the mystery, the acerbic suspense and a sense of adventure that people lack in their daily lives.

When existence sucks donkey balls, as it is, ladies will not want a sexual endeavor that reminds them of their daily life. It should be magical. It should be exceptional. It should really twist their panties to a point that once you’ve nailed the coffin, to put it crudely, and both of you are staring pointlessly at the ceiling, into dead space, or looking into each other’s eyes while smiling sheepishly, the lady must think ‘How the F in the name of EFFING F did he just do that?’

Women unlike most men know what they want and need when it comes to these things. While most men are content watching porn and reading the karma sutra for tips, women experiment, explore in their minds and hearts the deepest possibilities and options, conceive numerous fantasies and of course women will always have expectations.

The key is to satisfy them BEYOND those expectations.

No. It is NOT easy.

No. You can’t learn this shite from cheap/free porn sites and reading sex novels.

No. You will NOT be able to accomplish this without a lot of hard work and PASSION.

Yes.

You can slap yourself now.

Oh alright. Slap yourself again.

Do not fret dear friends. Nothing works like the movies. Sex isn’t this smooth rollercoaster ride where everything falls into place. It never works like that. Great sex is great because it is flawed, and things could go wrong. But the trick is not to be afraid to try out new things. There is no such thing as perfect sex. That’s bullshit. So don’t be afraid to make some errors along the way. It’s the finest way to learn from your mistakes. But don’t ever try out things that are beyond your league.

Like I said in the previous column take things a step at a time. You won’t be blowing anyone else’s mind if you try your hand at Shibari, Bondage or S & M and mess it up. Trust me you do NOT want to end up dislocating a lady’s shoulder or hip.

Now I will take you through a sentient sea to a world that might as well be new for you. Just hang on and read very carefully.

Different types of Foreplay: the 5 Basics

Kissing

Surprised? Don’t be. Kissing is the most archaic and one of the most intimate physical acts to arouse one’s sexual appetite. Kiss with passion. Take your time. Explore your partner’s lips, mouth, and tongue with yours; do it gently then slowly bite your partner’s lip, suck on it and let go. Take your time to suck your partner’s kiss in, to exchange air into each others mouths… you can’t do fuck all in bed if you can’t kiss a lady till her body uncoils and straightens out. Kiss with meaning, with reason, with feeling and take your time. A lady doesn’t want to be gobbled up. Show her you mean business by first praising her mouth and proving to her that there’s more to you than a 15 minute sausage assault.

Touching

A woman’s body is extremely sensitive. The touching and massaging of erogenous zones on her body will help augment and arouse the said lady. Behind the ears, the neck, lips, certain points of the breasts, the nipples, the naval, feet, behind the knees, the palms of the hand, wrists, vagina/clitoris… there are pressure points and there are pleasure points. Take your time, even facing each other nude, and just run your fingers gently all over the lady’s body, massage gently and explore till you begin to understand that when you touch certain parts of her body that she reacts & responds a bit differently. The combination of kissing while touching and feeling a lady is a good start to ironing your shit out.

Cuddling

In a sexual context though us men tend to be as cold as marble most of the time, women love the feeling of being embraced and caressed. It triggers a subliminal sense of security and safety and even more importantly it helps transfer energy from one body to another. Cuddle and roll around, just stay mobile and even hold each other while talking and whispering to each other. Be not afraid to touch and massage her while she’s lying in your arms. It’s all about being creative.

Stripping

Do you want another smack on the face? Stop being too smart for your panties. Yes. Stripping. There is something primordial and yet fabulously erotic in watching your partner slowly take off her clothes. At the same time it’s a great and effective way to get started on your sexual conquest by taking time to study each other and take each other’s clothes off very slowly. The act of stripping each other’s clothes off sounds mundane but in actuality will be quite a stimulant.

Ex – I simply love taking off a woman’s lingerie with my teeth. Make note that you may need some assistance from your hands. You don’t want to rip the material or lose any teeth.

Teasing

This is an exceptional and unbelievably useful act or method to stimulate your partner. Teasing can also be an amazing tool to psychologically toy with someone, if that’s your thing and you’ve got a touch of a Sadist in you. You can break teasing down to:

• Playful Teasing

• Hurtful Teasing

Playful Teasing: Where you tickle and tease to just trigger a basic response, and if you do tease playfully and can build it up to a cuddling, touching, massaging scenario then you’re heading the right way. Don’t keep teasing and go overboard ‘cos that’s pointless and will become quite annoying after awhile.

Hurtful Teasing: Now this is more my kind of thing girls and boys, and has to have some purpose to it. The general idea is that you combine Hurtful and Playful Teasing for added effect. Some girls like a guy to tweak and twist their nipples, some girls like to be bitten as much as they would love to take a chunk off your back, some girls like to twist and pull out a guy’s leg, arm and chest hairs… point is… I like to generally get into the head of my prey, I like to study, observe and become one with the pulse and the blood that’s flowing in her veins. I want to be her eyes, her ears and her mind. Remember a good combo can work in your favor and you’ll need to make an assessment if the girl you’re with can take some pain with her pleasure.

Have we covered enough this week? Well too bad. You’ll have to knock on The Backdoor for the next killer installment of your new, raunchy, honest & favorite column; The Safe Word. Don’t you worry my fine, fine creatures of lust and light… patience goes along way. Trust me, it does.

Next week we’ll cover Foreplay: More Serious Ground.

Till then…

Tug those reigns baby.

Ciao.

S

(Photo credit: HckySo)