I came, I saw… I came again… once said a very wise lady.

And then she came again.

And then the bed broke.

Hello Ladies… Gentlemen… and Ladies…

The reason I take so long between posts is that I prefer to maintain the gritty, ‘peel the flesh off your bones’ raw edge and authenticity each time. In order for you to take what I am saying seriously I must practice what I preach and give you honest counts of what I feel works and doesn’t in a sexual context. For that I need to be inspired to write. I need to have my latex/leather clad muse stroking my senses and stimulating me till my literary genius accumulates and finally pummels out like a ‘Rocket Queen.’

Quite recently my muse was stirred awake by some unbelievable sex; what made it even better was that I’d remained celibate (not out of choice but consequence) for a few months and then suddenly I got very, very horny.

What started off with sensory deprivation and basic touching and teasing led to me cuffing the creature’s ankles together; tight but so they were seminally spread-eagled (I am an adult who cherishes my toys). I bound her arms in a reverse prayer hogtie behind her head using it to also gag her mouth so that her hands and head were perfectly immobile so any movement would be adequately restricted – and then I took her from behind the way the ocean chews out the beach, the way the sun is swallowed into the raging mouth and teeth of the western sea. I teased her, toyed with her, beguiled her and accentuated her senses before entering her…

And then…

The bloody bed broke.

For what it’s worth the session progressed even after bits and pieces of the fine bed’s wheels smashed into all the parts of the room. It was one of those neat fold-up beds.

Cut to the end of the session; I pride myself in having controlled delayed orgasms which obviously helps to prolong the act; and so I pleasured the creature as long as I chose to and then finally wanted a release myself… so my private and testicles were bound painfully to one thigh – so tight that any movement made me grimace in hurt… and I commanded her (still blindfolded, gagged in exorbitant fashion etc.) to go down on me. And the combination of pain and pleasure drove me crazy.

I had my release. When I did finally orgasm it felt like my world just crisped to ashes and was reborn in unmatched ambient colors.

Lovely.

Now pay attention. There is a reason for me telling you this. Most of the foreplay in the session fell into place naturally; it was not preordained or pre-planned. It just happened. But I was careful to make the most of the opportunity and that my fine girls and boys is the key of forsaken knowledge.

Let’s cut to the proverbial chase and start cracking the verbal whip shall we? Or rather I will do the literary flogging and you my humble and anxious audience shall w(h)et yourselves and hopefully be further inspired to explore the bodies and minds of your most physically beloved.

Let us recap. Last time we covered the 5 Basic Steps of Foreplay which consisted in detail of Kissing, Touching, Cuddling, Stripping and Teasing (Playful & Hurtful).

Remember what I said about improvisation? Well that is very important in bed.  You can’t always pre-plan scenarios and stuff because then the magic of spontaneity is lost.  Spontaneity mind you is not something to take lightly. Once you hit a comfort zone don’t be afraid to be more expansive and creative, or it gets boring for the fairer sex.

Ready to get your hands dirty?

Foreplay: More Serious Ground: My personal favourites

• Sensory Deprivation

• Bondage

• Candle Wax

• Ice

• Food/ Aphrodisiacs

• Substances

• Porn/Erotica/Kinky Flicks

• S & M

• Fetish/Kinks

• Role Playing

• Toys

• Talking/Swearing/Cussing

• Spit

• Electricity

Now what I will do is take the liberty to give you a breakdown of each of these. We’ll tackle seven this week and seven when next I post.

The First Deadly Seven

1. Sensory Deprivation

This is at the very apex of my personal favorites list for a reason. Sensory Deprivation or Perceptual Isolation is the deliberate reduction or removal of stimuli from one or more senses. Blindfolds, Hoods, Head Harnesses, Gags and Earmuffs can cut off sight, hearing, speech & smell while bondage restricts ones mobility.

Our senses obviously contribute immensely to the ‘sex game.’ The more attuned you are to your own senses, the more richly you will be able to manipulate and distort another’s senses. It’s a funny thing really. It’s like the more horny you are and the more you deprive yourself of any pleasurable release – you simply get more & more horny. When your senses are taken away your other senses heighten to compensate for the loss, making your partner incredibly vulnerable and extra-sensitive to what would follow. Remember it is integral that you take things step by step and NOT proceed with sensory deprivation without trust and proper knowledge. The objective isn’t to hurt or taint someone psychologically but to heighten their sensations. So take it slow and don’t push your partner if she/he is uncomfortable.

How can you deprive another of her/his senses?

Blindfolds: This is the most basic sensory deprivation technique that is least harmful – make sure you use a material with a texture that won’t upset your partners face or skin. You can use ties, cotton/silk clothes, strips or anything you can wrap someone’s upper face with. Remember your partner must be able to breathe or you’ll end up murdering her. It’s really amazing how attuned you become to what’s around you when your sight is taken away from you.

Gags: Be very careful unless you fancy a partner with missing teeth. You can use fabrics with a lighter texture so it doesn’t hurt your partner till she/he gets the hang of it. You may progress to ball gags, harnesses and leather eventually. If your partner is someone who gets pleasure out of shouting out, cussing etc., then by gagging her you will elaborately stimulate her further by depriving her of something she needs, but you must reward her eloquently at the same time. Either way there is something exceptionally stimulating about gagging a woman who has a load to say but can only moan or groan in delight.

Head Harnesses: If you crave to encase your slave/partner with a head harness there are instruments in the sexual inventory that offer specially designed harnesses with tight leather straps, buckles and in-built gags so your partner is incapable of making any sound, blindfolded so sight is deprived and can’t figure out what’s in store for him/her next. If this is the shit that will turn you and your partner on then so be it. There is a wide collection of Lather Gag Trainers and Head Harnesses available online. We’ll get to that later.

Ear Muffs: Sometimes it’s amazing how worked up a person gets when one’s stimuli are removed, and hearing is an integral sense like speech and sight that many take for granted. Imagine not being able to hear what’s around you, the sounds and whispers of dark foreboding and your tingling at the edge of your skin with anxiety and enthrallment…

Collars: This is more useful for immobilization and posture training but when combined with any of the above can be a very powerful tool. A woman whose senses are taken away from her and cannot turn or move makes her even more vulnerable and thereby even more sexually aroused. The neck is an important part and an erogenous zone in a woman’s body and so collars are fantastic fun if you know what the hell you’re doing.

2. Bondage

Woe to you oh doubters of the power of Bondage for it is one of the most intricate and innovative methods of accentuating foreplay to a new level. You can render your partner/lover/fuck buddy immobile in more ways than you can count the hairs on your head.  In one sense it is a method of depriving someone of the ability to touch, move, retaliate on impulse or react. No matter how complex, superior, shy or capricious your partner may be she/he will become butter in your hands. The most basic method would be to bind the hands and legs, wrists and feet together utilizing silk, handcuffs, bondage cuffs, leather belts etc. There are standard tying techniques like the basic hands behind the back or spread eagled (if you have a 4 post bed). There are more complex ties that you could experiment with – ex – Reverse Hogties, Shibari, Shinju, Gyakuebi, Ebi, Kuri, Inversion, Suspension Ties, Doggy Style Ties, and Mummification etc.

OK stop! A step at a time will quench your horse’s thirst as I (should always) say.

Immobilization of oneself at the hands of another, this combined with the 5 basics of Foreplay as discussed in the previous post would stimulate you & your partner to new profound, unprecedented levels.

3. Candle Wax

I bet you’re raising your eyebrows now? No? Well you should. Don’t play with fire. You will eventually get burned. But if you are precautious and not high as a bat on crack then there are types of scented candles that can be utilized. The elements of extreme (bearable) heat and cold juxtaposed could be a powerful emissary. Wax is a beautiful thing because it has a vicious sting but cools very quickly as well. The important thing is to pour it from a safe distance – try not to miss – aim for the body first (avoid the face) because by the time the hot wax hits the body it would have begun to cool. Wax play can be deeply erotic and sensually addictive providing the candle burns in the right set of hands. Avoid wax play if there is alcohol or any other flammable substance around or you will literally blow your partner away.

The humble wax has a brother though. Read on.

4. Ice

Ah the pseudo-sinister brother of the burning wax. Extreme cold can be a swift stimulant and by rubbing a cube of ice systematically gently throughout the body of your partner and then licking or blowing air on the moist surface can make a woman go ape shit. With more experience you will be able to endure the ice and the wax in more sacred parts of your physical vessels. Merge the two elements together and your partner will literally ‘bark at the moon.’ A little bit of wax and then a cube of ice along the skin. You’ll have yourself a new little slave. For guys with a keen sense of direction and those among you who are fairly robust, balance yourself using your hand/hands to take the weight and be on top of your partner while she is blindfolded, gagged, even bound and fondle your partner’s breasts and her teats gently – yet methodically while keeping the cube of ice in your mouth and then running it along and on every erogenous zone you can find and think of. Make sure it isn’t sloppy and that she/he doesn’t kick you and make you swallow the cube of ice along with a few teeth. The very act of ice on skin would arouse your partner immensely.

5. Food/Aphrodisiacs

OK… you’re thinking WTF? No do not forget that food and assortments have been in some way a part and parcel of the sexual act for centuries. Trail back to the greatest & earliest civilizations whether it be Minoan, Mycenaean, Egypt, Rome, Greece or Persia… food has been a preference on the sexual menu.

An Aphrodisiac is a drug, food or other agent that stimulates sexual desire. The name comes from Aphrodite, the Greek Goddess of sensuality and love. Throughout history, many foods, drinks, and behaviors have had a reputation for making sex more attainable and/or pleasurable. Consume enough of this stuff and you will be as horny as a hellhound in well… hell. Keep in mind that Chocolate, Durian, Wine, Tomatoes, Oysters are all Aphrodisiacs. Fruit is generally fun; grapes, bananas, cherries, strawberries etc., can be utilized to invigorate the sex act. You can play with frozen strawberries for example and then melodramatically eat it off and out of a bodily alcove of your choice. Chocolate & Wine would be the combo you’re seeking ideally. If you’re squeamish don’t try it… It should be done in a manner that it isn’t sloppy and messy. That’s why you need to do it right. Not being politically correct is fine providing you’re sexually correct.

“For who can resist being each a soul intertwined, twisted in a pallid twilight, basking in chocolate and wine?”

Use food with some creativity, sensibility (avoid wastage) and with some aesthetic value. Pour chocolate sauce all over your partner’s body and lick it off and then get her to suck your tongue. You know, stuff like that.

Not all food is an Aphrodisiac but may be of some significant use.

Be creative you fine, young cannibalistic connoisseurs!

6. Substances

Bad girls have bad habits. Bad boys like Good Girls and this whole world is crazy.

Anything that is a drug, intoxicant and agents or components of inebriation can be a substance in this case. Alcohol, Tobacco, Marijuana in regulated quantitative measures could work as a stimulant to some while it can make others languid, lethargic, lax, hostile, aggressive or mundane. Hear me out. I strongly advise you to avoid substances that will be beyond your control. It’s true that drugs like ecstasy, speed, cocaine have been utilized to enhance sexual stimulation however this is an unnecessary risk and one that with long term abuse will eventually render you impotent.

Note for instance how one individual might become talkative and charming on booze while another becomes a raving, violent dickhead. So I don’t advise you to follow your nose when your heart and mind will choose to not accommodate you on a substance induced endeavor. A light pull of Mary J with a sip or two of Chardonnay can make you tipsy but keep you on the radar – you won’t lose focus and become a disoriented fool. It’s part of the Rock ‘n’ Roll trade after all & a bane and perk of the lifestyle.

Bottom line though is this: you don’t need a stimulant to perform better. It’s all about how you drive and how you get there. I don’t smoke nicotine but even I shun alcohol (not Wine) and Mary J when it comes to sex, because I don’t need it. At the end of the day if you can’t piss straight sober you’ll never piss straight high.

7. Porn/Erotica/Kinky Flicks

OK… so I don’t do Porn. That’s the truth. It does fuck all for me. It doesn’t stimulate or excite me. Erotica is a whole different ball game; different rules and it’s a challenge and risk that propels my sexual peak to the very apex of horniness.

It is a widely acknowledged (or not) fact that most couples think of other people in the very vortex of their minds while having sex. Not always but in most cases. This is one method and way to build a mutual level of acceptance where both of you can share erotic stimulation together – although it will take time to find something that will drive out the devils and unleash hell in a hand basket for both of you. So learn to compromise and then bridge the chasm. Have a subtle chit chat and pick something that you’d both enjoy.

Watching certain videos or flicks prior to ‘The Act’ is a common practice worldwide. Depending on what you watch and the mindset of your partner; a preview of something kinky, provocative and sensually captivating can set the tone and mood for your luscious voyage. It could be a movie with deep seething psychological stimulation like ‘Original Sin’ or something that’s twisted yet evocative like ‘Mulholland Drive,’ it could be the dark abiding romanticism of Bram Stoker’s ‘Dracula’ or a gritty -at the edge of your seat  episode- of Rome or Nip Tuck. It could be Porno or it could be Erotica, however you and your jiggy wigster must be on the same page or else it will do wonders for one of you while the other will be reasonably disturbed and mortified. If you don’t see eye to eye, don’t be shy, just casually to bring it up and talk about flicks, clips that turn you on and just nudge and see if your partner would mind having a sit down premier. This is something that should not become a constant but a mere tactic utilized on occasion. You should be able to turn your partner on and off as you deem fit and choose without having to watch other people getting it on.

I know I’ve taken my time with the new post and perhaps it’s the sadist in me that’s subconsciously teasing you. I have been genuinely pretty tied up the past few weeks. You can’t deny that the wait has been worth it though. Engross and drown yourself in this post and the next 7 methods of madness and mystique will contain quite a few shockers – trust me. So tune in, bleed in your semi-conscious vertigo, be exalted and enticed beyond your wildest nightmares and dreams… Just one thing…

Don’t ever forget your ‘Safe Word.’

Photo Credit Injuredsoul/adamrhoades/ trailerparktrash/woman of scorn/ nocole st. john/shoot-art/djking/ru kazu